By: Bro. Stephen Iluman (Bishop, COC – Grey)
We have to thank God first for this gathering where His children are to learn, before then, let us have the definitions of these key words, factors, making, happy and marriage according to Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, International students edition.
Factors: One of several things that cause or influence
Making: The act or process of making or producing
Happy: Feeling or showing pleasure
Marriage: The legal relationship between a husband and wife.
Introduction: The teachings on marriage is so common after our baptism as Christians. Personally, I am here today to speak on the topic: What are the factors in making a happy marriage home? This gave me the mind of recollection and reflections according to the author of the book by Brother Peter S. Egure, an elder at kado Congregation – Abuja.
It is my joy or desire to reach everybody present right here, be you a man, or woman who are already in marriage, or those of you intending to marry. In fact, the lesson is for male and female universally or locally as far as Christianity is concerned in this generation and other generations to come. Dear brethren, we should not forget prayers in this regard as Jesus started with prayers and ended with it. There are so many pitfalls awaiting, that needs to be avoided. Those of us who are already parents are to be reminded of our roles in marriages so that our children can understand what are the factors in making a happy home according to God’s will and directives. It is true that people must marry and God wants it so, as He said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” 21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. The man said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:18, 21-24.
We as individuals must look to see God’s example through Jesus Christ if we are to know the factors in making a happy marriage home. Love as God loved the world – John 3:16-17 – 16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.
Furthermore, the fruit of the Spirit must be with those to marry to enable both of them have the factors in making a happy marriage home. Galatians 5:22-23 – But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. Among the factors in making a happy home, both party must have within themselves marriageable attitudes, character, manner, tolerance, accommodation or forgiveness at all times.
Look before you leap prayerfully because of my personal experience. A minister of the church of Christ, who was expecting the factors in making a happy marriage home, happen to marry a sister in the body of Christ who is a witch and the marriage was blessed with children to their expectation and the brother observed one thing that kept happening in the marriage especially because of their sexual relationship – 1 Corinthians 7:1-7 – Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
The above is God’s directives and instructions toward the factors for making a happy marriage home, but the husband in our discussion was not enjoying this every Friday. The husband was worried, sad, and lonely on every Friday nights till the sister revealed to him in confidence, privately that she is a witch and not just a witch, that she has a husband in the coven. That every Friday is the day of their meeting over there. My dear brethren, it is proper to understand, because some are careless about the factors in making a happy marriage home. This will be as a result of disobedience to God’s commandments, directives and instructions in marriages.
My dear brethren, the situation grew from worse to worst as the sister felt the loneliness, and the sorrowful condition of her husband at night on every Friday. She recommended a fellow woman who lost her husband to her husband and he was going to be sleeping with the woman. Both of them were committing adultery against each other in the bid to fulfil the factors in making a happy marriage home.
Our brother, the minster decided to report the issue to his family. The family gave instructions that she should come to serve the idols for committing abomination with a goat and other items. The sister felt bad, disappointed, disgraced and reacted her own way. Today, the brother is no more and I have not heard about the sister till date. We must be grateful and thankful to have this timely topic: What are the factors in making a happy marriage home? The purpose of this teaching is to enable everybody understand the mind of God towards mankind – 2 Peter 3:9 – The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.
God Himself wants us to know the factors in making a happy marriage home as He gave responsibilities – Ephesians 6:1-4 – Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” 4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord – Proverbs 22:6. In 1 Peter 3:1-7, we are told, Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the [a]incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
Husbands and wives are the most closest persons in the world as bone of bones and flesh of flesh in marriage, just as Christ and the church – Colossians 3:18-19, Ephesians 5:22-25 – Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.
At least the mystery to know about the factors in making a happy marriage home have been revealed and it is now left with those of us who are already in marriage, those intending to marry to obey and carry out his or her roles practically, spiritually, honestly, obediently, submissively, faithfully, lovely as the joy of a happy home will not be denied us.
We have learnt about issues connected with marriages either negatively or positively and parents should always be an example to their children in our various families. Our conducts in the communities matter. The children yet to marry should not be having so many boyfriends and girlfriends, and keep yourselves from sexual immorality before marriage.
There is honour and respect if you can wait for your husband to be to dis-virgin you. Remember Matthew 6:33. Finally, do not forget communication in your marriage home.
May God help us all to heed to His corrections and instructions as to be His men and women in Jesus name – Amen.