By            Bro. Godwin Nene

One of the greatest attacks in our soc1ety today 1s on the family and specifically, on fathering. Let me share with you seven keys that fathers are in desperate need today.

1. Commitment: The strong, secure foundation that a child requires in order to stand against the battles that are part of growing up in today’s turbulent society, beings with the lifetime commitment of a man to his wife and their family. A husband’s commitment is defined as the state of having given his life to his wife and his family.

A dad’s commitment to unconditionally love and believe in his family builds identity, stability and accountability in his children. Children need their dad to verbalize this commitment and approval on a regular basis. In the absence of this reassurance, fear may enter a child’s heart thinking that his/her dad is disinterested, or worse, disapproves or even rejects him/her. Father’s commitment is also vital in developing strong self-worth in our children. Recent statistics prove the vital need of fathering, (a far greater percentage of fatherless children end up in prison, drop out of school and generally struggle in life).

2. Love Your Wife: A father’s demonstration of love for his wife produces trust and security in their children. The most important love a child receives from his/her parents comes from the overflow of his/her father and mother being in love. If daddy’s love for a child’s mother is Then daddy’s love is questionable.

Most parents today are very concerned to protect their children against unhealthy emotional relationships. The best way to tram them to recognize the unhealthy is to teach them by example what a healthy emotional relationship is all about. A father’s demonstration of marital affection; verbal and physical, is the best protection he can provide his children against abuse and heartache in their future.

Col. 3:19, Prov. 5:18·19, Eph. 5:25, Eccl.9:9.

3. Respect and Honour: We respect and honour what we value. Our children are eternal beings with unlimited potential entrusted by GOD into our hands for us to help shape and mould. Recognizing the gift that they are, the individual that are, the choices that they have, and the privacy that they may or may not share, should cause parents to treat their children with respect and honour.

A child’s self-respect and self-esteem are greatly determined by the respect and honour he/she receives from his/her father. Fathers need to ask themselves, “do I value my child’s thoughts”, what’s important to them, their opinions?” Do I thank them for sharing their heart with me and do I value those times and information.

That does not mean that we are not going to discipline them when the need arises – Proverbs 3:12, 22:6, Colossians 3:21, Ephesians 6:4, Luke 18:20, Ephesians 6:2-3, Colossians 3:20, Exodus 20:12. 

4. Integrity: The title of the Christian men’s movement known as “Promise keepers” is actually the definition of integrity. Our world today needs fathers that will say what they mean and mean what they say. Our children need to be able to lean on and trust in the word of their fathers. Our children need their fathers to keep their promises. They need to build their lives on the integrity of their words, without integrity a man’s word is worth nothing and when his/her children try to build their life on it, and they will try, their result will be heartache and pain. The miraculous success of the organization “Promise Keepers” over the years is proof of today’s tremendous need for father with integrity. Proverbs 11:3, Provers 28:6-7.
   

5. Grace: Grace is freedom to fail. Grace looks beyond our failure and treats us according to what lover believes us to be. The bible says, “Love… is ever ready to believe the best of every person” – 1 Corinthians 13:7. A father’s love should provide his children with grace. Children that knows grace is not threatened by failure. To this child, failure is not the end; it is only another step toward success. A father’s grace provides his children with the freedom to fail without diminishing his/her vision for success. Grace teaches us to get back up again and keep going.

A great opportunity to teach our children grace is to use our past failures as teaching examples. If we can accept our failures and keep going, our children will learn to do the same. Another opportunity is when our children fall. We should recognize that this is the time they need our support more than ever. Take this opportunity to reward them for their effort and continue to believe in their success.

6. Encouragement: If ever a generation needed courage to face the battles of growing up, our children do. As parents, we are their most needed source. It is amazing how important our little acts of encouragement are to our children. The little things like giving them a simple card with a note of appreciation or adm1rallon. I’m often blown away by the importance a little note from dad sets… They will never throw it away! Children usually don’t question Mom’s heart but they often need confirmation of dad’s.

The thinnest amount of encouragement from a father makes a huge difference in his child’s life. It is one of the most valuable and available things a father can do for his children – Hebrews 12:14.

7. Touch: I believe there is a miracle in a daddy’s hug. Touch communicates intimacy and tenderness. To hold and be held communicate vulnerability and closeness that is reserved for trusting members of a family. One of the greatest needs of children, especially teenagers, is a hug from dad.

Hugging is very healthy. It helps the body’s immune system. It keeps you healthier. It cures depression and reduces stress. It is induces sleep. It is invigorating. It is rejuvenating. It has no unpleasant side effects. Hugging is nothing less than a miracle drug. Hugging is all natural. It is organic and naturally sweet. It contains no pesticides, preservative, or artificial ingredients, and it is 100% wholesome. Hugging is practically perfect. There are movable parts, no batteries to wear out, no periodic check-ups, no monthly payments, and no insurance requirements, it offers no energy consumption and returns high energy yield while being inflation proof, non-fattening, theft proof, non-taxable, non-polluting and non-returnable.

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