Text: 2 TIMOTHY 3:3,4
By: Chris Afekolu (Bishop)
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PREAMBLE
“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of themselves,……….. Boasters, ……INCONTINENT, ……PROUD, HEADY, HIGH-MINDED.” II Timothy 3:1-5.
Incontinent means without self-control
Our world is becoming more and more corrupted than ever? Have you noticed mankind is becoming more and more out of control, and showing more lack of self-control than ever before?
Self-control relates to the passions (such as anger or love), the appetites (for food, sex, etc.), and the will (as illustrated by impulsive decisions). The lack of self-control is a mark of a fool. He is like a city . . . left without walls, that is, with no means of defense against enemies. Biblical self-control means choosing to give up trying to control things on our own, surrendering to God for help, and working alongside Him for real change.
A lack of self-control has many examples: Temptations to engage in drugs and alcoholism, drunkenness, cults, gangs, racism, compulsive spending, sexual immorality, sex trafficking, sex, drugs and violent movies and gaming, pornography, prostitution, cheating, gossiping, mocking, hypocrites, judging and condemning the lives of others, domestic violence, riots, suicides, teenage sex and pregnancies, abortions, killings, robbery, corruption, slander, cursing, filthy language, taking God’s name in vain, idolatry, lovers of pleasures, slaves to money, lust, passion and status.
Today, these sins are considered the new society and social standards. It’s the new norm for many; therefore, today many see nothing wrong with our society. The standard of the God of this world is no longer biblical. Human beings have become more evil, wicked, rash, idolaters, fornicators, killers, thieves, practicing witchcraft, the list goes on and on. All of this is SIN! And all sin is due to the lack of self-control. There is no longer a spirit of self-control, as sin abounds all around us.
Satan is a huge advocate, which is helping many lose the fruits of their self-control. People including brethren, more and more, are letting loose of their self-control. Have you ever given thought to this – a lack of self-control is a lack of the Holy Spirit? How many of us can honestly say we are yielding the fruits of the Holy Spirit? Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) tells us this – 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Who’s controlling your life?
The Holy Spirit or Satan? This is not a rhetorical question, but a question that deserves an honest answer. Is your flesh or the Holy Spirit controlling your life? Examine your life. We all must examine our lives. Are you living by the works of your flesh? Galatians 5:19-21 clearly articulates the definition of the acts of the flesh. I encourage you to review the list of acts of the flesh to do a self-check on your own life. God knows our every thought, and God is watching our behaviors.
The lack of self-control or without self-control is living in SIN! Without the Holy Spirit in your life, you are not being led by the spirit, but by the spirit of the flesh, which equates to SIN. The bible denotes that in the last days people will tend to more intensely be led by the spirit of the flesh. Satan wants nothing more than to temp you, your flesh, and strip people of their self-control. The power of sin is making people lose their self-control as we now live in perilous times. There’s even more and more immorality in the society, the churches, in the pulpits (wrong doctrines). Scandals around the world are the result of sin, the lack of self-control (incontinent).
KEY PASSAGES ON SELF-CONTROL
Proverbs 25:28 (ESV): “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” This verse illustrates the vulnerability and chaos that can result from a lack of self-control.
1 Corinthians 9:25 (ESV): “Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.” This verse draws a parallel between the self-control of athletes and the self-control required in the Christian life, emphasizing the eternal rewards of the latter.
Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV): “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” Here, self-control is identified as one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, highlighting its importance in the life of a believer.
Tips for Pursuing Self-Control According to the Bible:
- Prayer: Seek God’s help through prayer. Ask Him to grant you the strength and self-control to resist temptations and make wise choices. Ask God to give you the strength to rely on the Holy Spirit to guide and empower you in your pursuit of self-control. Remember that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).
- Fasting: Those areas you are struggling with, that tend to push you out of self-control can be overcome through individual fasting. Periodic fasting can help you exercise self-control over your physical desires and draw closer to God. It’s a practice endorsed in the Bible (Matthew 6:16-18).
- Renew Your Mind: Romans 12:2 encourages us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Study God’s Word regularly to gain wisdom and understanding and strive to practice those things studied in God’s Word, which can help you exercise self-control.
- Accountability: Surround yourself with fellow believers who can hold you accountable and provide support in your journey to self-control.
- Avoid Temptation: Proactively avoid situations or environments that tempt you to indulge in behaviours or actions that lack self-control.
- Mindful Eating: Practice moderation in your eating habits. 1 Corinthians 10:31 remind us to do everything to the glory of God, including how we eat and drink. {A 330 ml can of coke contains 35g of sugar, Malta Guinness contains 36.3g of sugar; WHO recommend daily max. 50g per day for an adult, be mindful majority of our food is carbohydrate.}
- Guard Your Speech: Proverbs 13:3 states, “Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” Exercise self-control in your speech, refraining from gossip, anger, or hurtful words.
- Cultivate Patience: Self-control often involves patience. Learn to wait on God’s timing and trust in His plan, even when faced with difficult circumstances.
- Set Goals: Establish clear, achievable goals for areas in which you need more self-control. Track your progress and celebrate your successes.
- Repent and Seek Forgiveness: If you stumble and give in to temptations, don’t despair. Turn to God in repentance, seek His forgiveness, and strive to do better with His help.
Concluding thought on self control
The biblical characteristic of self-control is a vital aspect of the Christian life. It requires prayer, a renewal of the mind through Scripture, accountability, and the avoidance of temptation. By relying on the Holy Spirit and practicing these tips, we can grow in self-control and lead lives that honor God. Self-control is not about depriving oneself but about living a life in harmony with God’s principles and purpose. It is a reflection of the transformation that occurs in the hearts of believers as they seek to live according to God’s will.
HEADY
King James Bible Dictionary defines a Heady person as; RECKLESS; HASTY; HEADSTRONG
What does God say about recklessness? Prov. 14:16
ESV One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless. NIV – The wise fear the Lord and shun evil, but a fool is hot headed and yet feels secure. NASB – A wise person is cautious and turns away from evil, But a fool is arrogant and careless.
What is the difference between careless and recklessness?
Recklessness involves a conscious choice to ignore risks. In summary, while both terms denote a lack of caution, “careless” suggests unintentional mistakes, whereas “reckless” implies irresponsible and rash and unruly. Recklessness is a deliberate act of irresponsibility, rashness, unruliness and the likes. The bibles say we will see more of these persons in the last days!
Headstrong from The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition.
Adjective – Determined to have one’s own way; stubbornly and often recklessly willful. Synonym: obstinate.
Adjective – Resulting from willfulness and obstinacy. from The Century Dictionary. Willful; ungovernable; obstinate; bent on pursuing one’s own ends.
Directed by or proceeding from obstinate willfulness: as, a headstrong course. Synonyms Intractable, unruly, stubborn, dogged. from the GNU version of the Collaborative International Dictionary of English. Adjective – Not easily restrained; ungovernable; obstinate; stubborn.
Adjective – Directed by ungovernable will, or proceeding from obstinacy. from Wiktionary, Creative Commons Attribution/Share-Alike License.
Adjective – Determined to do as one pleases, and not as others want. from WordNet 3.0 Copyright 2006 by Princeton University. All rights reserved.
Adjective – habitually disposed to disobedience and opposition.
Men will be… traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God: These characteristics are all about one thing: Self. Men are traitors because of self, they are headstrong because of self, they are haughty because of self, and they are lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God because of self.
The words heady and high-minded mean to be filled with selfish pride–to be like Satan, lifted up, inflated with self-conceit. You don’t have to look very far to find this crowd. They are everywhere in all areas of life! You can see and hear them in the sports world, business world, political arena, and also in church houses.
These are the people who put on the pretense of humility; but, if you really get to know them, you would soon see their “self-centeredness”. It could be a successful husband who has the idea that he is a great prize his wife has won, or a wife that has the idea her husband got a trophy when he got her. It could be the athlete who feels he or she is what makes the team or a sport great. It could be the church member or leader who feels that their presence makes the church so much better.
God hates all sin. You can be sure that the Lord Jesus greatly condemns heady and high-mindedness. Hear and Heed the words of God when He says, “Pride goeth before destruction and an haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18). Satan has his ways to lead men to destruction. One such way is through “heady, haughty, high-minded” hearts.
Allowing God to Heal Stubbornness in Your Life
We all have stubborn areas that God can heal. Most stubborn people don’t admit their stubbornness is present and it is holding them back.
If we allow God to heal our stubbornness, He can actually use that stubborn place in a sanctified way, where we “stubbornly” refuse to quit and stay at the course that is before us.
Everything can be blocked from fruitfulness, simply because of a stubborn heart. Unhealed stubbornness could impact on your marriage, friendships, parenting and even your calling. Your children will often repeat the patterns you lay out for them.
A person who is stubborn does not respond well to input, they resist change and become difficult to deal with. You can only go so far with them in relationship, because their personal will has built up impenetrable walls of self-preservation. God will not force His way into a stubborn person’s heart, as He resists the proud. But the good news is that continual grace is available to those who humble themselves. But the journey from stubbornness to humility can be a challenging road.
Is Stubbornness Holding You Back?
It takes humility to admit you have stubbornness that needs to be addressed. The problem is that stubbornness resists humility at all costs. The Old Testament, King Saul carried a stubbornness that the average person may not have discerned, but Samuel saw it. This stubbornness kept him from being able to experience the breakthrough and change that was available to him.
The word of the Lord came to Saul, but his stubbornness actually blocked that word from taking shape in his life. God can work in powerful ways, but a simple block of stubbornness can prevent the flow of God from being experienced. Samuel didn’t play around with this situation. Saul not listening to the instruction and direction that was clearly given to him was revealing a problem in his heart. God’s warning through Samuel was direct and strong:
For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. 1 Samuel 15:23 (KJV)
Why is Stubbornness as Iniquity?
Samuel describes stubbornness as iniquity and idolatry.
When you see the word iniquity in the Old Testament, it often refers to the inherited sin that gets passed from generation to generation. The very nature of sin is stubborn. It resists change. One of the patterns of sin that easily get passed down is the sin of stubbornness.
So next time you see a stubborn trait in your child, look in the mirror, because they may have inherited it from your family tree. Don’t condemn yourself. This is an opportunity for you and your child to experience more freedom, together. This is a chance to learn and teach humility in a real way.
The best way to see stubbornness defeated in your child’s life is to allow God to heal it in your own life. If you really want to experience transformation in the area of stubbornness, One courageous step you can take: Ask your spouse, or very close acquaintance – “Am I stubborn. In what ways am I stubborn?” And listen without defending yourself or arguing. Take in the feedback, because there are things you may have been ignoring, defending and deflecting for years.
Just as iniquity is a seed that moves from generation to generation, the sin of stubbornness will continue to flow in the family tree, unless someone says, “no more.”
Why is Stubbornness as Idolatry? Stubbornness is as idolatry, because it manifests what idols accomplish. An idol blocks the flow of God grace from fully operating in our life. Stubbornness also accomplishes that. It keeps us from fulfilling the work of God in our lives. When we operate in stubbornness, we are often protecting an idol in our lives that we do not want to tear down. We are not open to another perspective or input about our life.
Stubbornness protects us from being vulnerable. Therefore, people who love you and know you cannot speak into your life. It creates a lot of “don’t go there” subjects in your life. People often have to tip toe around you with certain subjects because stubbornness keeps you walled off.
The stubbornness is the hardness, the protective layer that does not allow truth to land softly on the heart. It keeps truth at a distance, so we remain bound to the beliefs that we feel are right, but may be off.
The danger of chronic stubbornness is that you become a standard to yourself, with little to no helpful input. It keeps you from being mentored or sharpened by other relationships.
The idols we carry can be the stubborn arguments and mindsets that keep us from walking in humility and heart transformation. This is about cutting down the idols that keep our heart from the freedom to live in the love that God has for us.
The Only Solution In order to break free of stubbornness lies with you; you have to admit you have it and that it’s holding you back. You will need to get sober about the high stakes consequences that will manifest if you remain in your stubborn ways. The only way to break free is to humble yourself. Get defenseless. Admit where you’ve been stubborn and invite the input that can help you change. The good new is that God bestows His grace to those who are willing to humble themselves.
Some Ways to deal with Stubborn People
Stubbornness is a personality trait that many people possess. A stubborn person is someone who refuses to consider points of view that are different to the ones they hold and may be resistant to change. Such a trait can be positive, driving innovation and change, and negative, leading to conflicts and challenges in collaboration. On the positive side, a stubborn person may stick firmly to their beliefs, decisions, or opinions, which allows them to persist in their goals, showing resilience in the face of difficulties. They tend to rely on their judgment and may resist external influence or advice. Stubbornness, in this sense, can be viewed as perseverance.
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