By Bro. Godwin Nene
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What is that most elusive thing in the world, that thing everybody is looking for and only few could find it, thousands of books has been written about it, universities lecturing on it, scientists has made researched to investigate it, government has set up unit to look into it, the UN has name special day for it, and we have been told that people are still searching for it.
What is that one thing everyone, the powerful, the talented, the rich, the poor, leaders, wealthy, achievers, all are seeking for it, but very few can actually secure it, and the answer is HAPPINESS, every human wants to be happy, and how many are throughly happy, this is a very important discussion, a discussion you can have with yourself, we are going to say something repeatedly today as we progress with it, happiness is a choice and you have to choose to be happy, since we realized that happiness is a common goals that’s cut across the boundaries of culture, religious, race and we also indicated that happiness is so elusive, I will start by asking this three questions.
- What is happiness?
- Why is happiness so elusive (difficult)?
- How do you choose to be happy?
What Is Happiness?
This definition is the combination of what the scholars and psychologist have said, happiness is the consistent mental, emotional and spiritual state of wellbeing, happiness has more to do with your internal conditions than external circumstances, is the internal feeling of contention with satisfaction. There is a book I read, the author said happiness is not the destination that you arrived, but it’s the manner of traveling, is not an achievement, goals, particular target, but a manner of traveling, is how you live your life every single day, so happiness is based on your decision to be happy, you have to choose to be happy by making the correct approach, you need to stop searching for happiness, because we keep searching for happiness in the next thing, next level in life, next degree, next chieftain title, next promotion, next business establishment etc.
Happiness is not out there, is here in your mind, your heart and soul, this is the simple answer to the question. What is happiness?
Why Is Happiness Difficult To Find?
The simple short answer is our approach is wrong, because we are looking for happiness in the wrong places, (James 4:3), we are looking for happiness in the next future, in bigger homes, better cars, modern technologies, better jobs, we are looking for happiness in the next, keep waiting for the next, when we growing up, it was in our mind that after getting married we will be happy, research has shown that even when you reach a major mines stone in your life, the happiness there will only last for a maximum period of six months.
You see married couples smiling always throughout the celebration, thanking people, appreciating people, always goes around with his wife or husband, go to honeymoon, after six months, life stabilizes, that is how God design it, it’s natural. The next point will be when children come, I will be happy, when the first child come, “O my happiness has just come, because wife can go, but my child can’t go” but when second child comes, you hear him saying those children are making me crazy, so where is the happiness, it will come when I get my own house, if God eventually him with a home,. You hear say I have secure life, then life stabilizes again, that is the system God gave us to live‐in, so what happen, we keep looking for the next, the next and the next.
People are not always satisfied with achievements, look at our rich‐men, and world footballers of the year, after about six months of achieving a status, life stabilizes again, that’s while we see so many depressions, suicide among the rich and popular people in the world today.
Mistake we saying today is unhappy people focus on what they don’t have, while happy people focus on what they do have, unhappy people think on what happens in the past and be thinking about what will happen in the future and to what extend they will be affected, while happy people live in the present, the words of
God teaches us, to learn from the past, prepared to an extend for the future, but enjoy what God gave you right now, freedom, Christ crucification for our salvation and you will be happy, according to an old man, we will be happy when we sees our children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, frankly speaking it will get to a point in life, when your children and grandchildren came to you and you will not recognize them or happy with them, so learn from the past, prepare to an extend for the future and focus on what God has giving you right now, this moment and you will be happy. That is the only source of happiness. Be contended with what you have.
How Do You Choose To Be Happy?
We choose to be happy by embracing the happiness portfolio, let me put it in a simple term, by securing the ingredients of happiness, what are the ingredients, four things.
(1) Faith in God – Hebrews 1:6,
(2) Family
(3) Community and
(4) Yourself
Faith in God
Those are the pillars of happiness. Those four things stand between you and happiness.
Faith in God, let’s consider this and just one statement will sum up all we going to say and if you get right, your coming to Church today will not be in vain, If God is happy with you, you will happy, but God is unhappy with you, you will likewise be unhappy, that is why faith is the first important ingredients in the portfolio of happiness (Matt. 3:36), so live your life the way God will be happy with you, so that your happiness will be completed in‐respective of your circumstances, if you achieved every goal in your life, every objective in your life and in the process you displeased your creator, it will be difficult for the person to see happiness, the person may think he/she is happy with all the achievements, let’s me tell you the happiness is artificial, Christ said, my peace I gave you not has the world gave: John.
Most of the time that we think that God’s laws are made to restrict us, in reality they are made to free us, to checked us, to make us understand that we should not be a slave to temptation, slave to targets, slave to goals and objectives, we must learn to give our life to God completely and do that He required us to do, that’s the only way we can understand what is true happiness, the process and principles of Christianity teaches us to be happy in every situation, either good or bad, David is a topical example from the bible.
Let’s try to be patience in life, because life is ups and downs, there is low times in everybody’s life, you are not exempted, if you understand this secret, you are a happy person, another hindrance to happiness is comparing, if you are among those that form the habit of comparing, try to be careful, it’s a bad thing, but compare with those lesser than you, never compared with those people that are higher than you, definitely there people who are higher and lower than you.
Again if you want to be happy practice forgiveness, we are found of carrying the hurts and pains for offences people did to us, you will be more affected by the issues than the person who offend you, forgive for the sake of Christ death on the cross.
The other one is that your expectation should only be from God alone, not even your husband or your wive, not children, not the person closer to you, because the more your expectations on them, the more your disappointments, human beings will always disappoint, but God never disappoint.
According to William Shakespeare, I quote: I always feel happy, you know why? Because I don’t expect anything from anyone. Expectations always hurt. Life is short, so love your life. Be happy and keep smiling
The Family:
This is so sad, in this rat race of material things and gratification, we have sacrificed our greatest assets that are our relationships with especially those who are dear to us not that we don’t love them, not that we are not doing enough for them, why are we making so much wealth? Because we wants to provide for our loved ones (family), we will do more for the family than yourself, we have lost grips of priority things and neglect has entered into our families, into our marriages, into our children upbringing, our parents, not because we don’t loved them, we are working so hard investing for them, instead of investing in them, it is important to invest in your family, than investing for them.
Nobody has time, you have to create time, spend extra time with your family, especially when you are still in active service, because at your retirement you will practising how to stay with the family you built for over forty years, we spent all our times in the office and managing business, neglecting the family God gave us to look after, then the expectation from children will not be there and you will be disappointed.
The Community
We only think of our progress and forget others, you will only be truly happy when you bring happiness to others, let’s not disconnect from the community, that’s where we leave and you are part of it, try as much as you can to give back to the community if there is a enough resources to do, you will not be happy if the community is not happy, because a troubling community is unhappy community, that’s why you see our so called rich men moving round with military personnel as security escort.
Yourself
Take time for yourself, exercise, connect with nature, let’s stop this rat race, eat healthily, our live depends on how we spend it, we are like machine every day you start a machine the sound is always the same. The family you working so hard for are equally want to enjoy staying with you, don’t over work yourself and break down one day.
Happiness is a choice, let’ choose to be happy.
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