Text: Ephesians 5:21-25

By Bro. Wilfred Atigbi (Elder, COC – Grey)

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Introduction: At the time of creation, God saw that it was not good for the man to be alone so He created woman and provided for marriage relationship, the beginning of a home in which Children would be born and raised. (Gen. 2:18‐24).

God has given guidelines to govern the physical family just as He has for the spiritual family, the Church. Each person is to study the word of God to know his/her role in the physical family whether husband, wife or Children. As Christ is the head of the Church (Eph. 1:22‐23, 5:23), the man is to be the “head” of every physical family, thus, his physical and spiritual attributes should guide them in all things.

This lesson will focus on the role of the man in the family as Husband and father.

  1. THE ROLE OF THE MAN AS HUSBAND: The first role of the man is to leave father and mother (Matt. 19:5‐6). Leaving that relationship in favor of another has many implications. He leaves the headship of his parents to become the head of his family.

He leaves the financial support of his parents to provide for himself and his own household.

  1. HE CLEAVES TO HIS WIFE: (Matt. 19:5‐6) His wife is to be his earthly loyalty and he is to live for her and to think of her and please her before his parents. Cleave literally meant cemented, glue, adhered to (Acts 11:23). God has joined the husband and wife together. They are to become one flesh. The godly husband sticks with his wife in and through all things for better for worse.
  2. HE IS TO BE HEAD OF HIS FAMILY: (Eph. 5:23) Proper leadership is needed in every family, therefore, the husband must live up to his God‐given responsibility. He is to be head of his wife as Christ is the head of the Church. His headship must be exercised in love, humility and consideration of his wife and her needs before himself and his own needs. He is neither to be a tyrant nor a dictator. His wife is not to be his slave and bow and tremble before him.
  3. HE IS TO HONOR HIS WIFE: (1Pet. 3:7). Many wives are profaned and treated as common or taken for granted. This instruction suggests respect, esteem and treatment expressive of honor in both words and deed. She is to be honored as a weaker vessel, though some believe has reference to the physical weakness of the woman in comparison to the man, a better explanation is that she is to be honored as a piece of fine linen rather than a piece of every day stoneware. Because she is a fellow heir of grace of life. So that one’s prayers may not be hindered. Because she has honored her husband of all the men to whom she have chosen to give herself for life.
  4. HE IS TO DWELL WITH HIS WIFE WITH UNDERSTANDING: (1 Pet. 3:7) – A husband may never be able to completely understand his wife and her way of thinking‐ that is not what is commanded here. The understanding the husband must have is that of marriage relationship and his God‐given responsibilities towards his wife in that relationship. This signifies to be knowledgeable, and intelligent recognition of the nature of marriage relationship.
  6. Physical needs (1 Tim. 5:8).
  7. Sexual needs (1 Cor. 7:1‐4).
  8. Emotional needs. The godly husband understands the link between the emotional needs and sexual needs and will see that the emotional needs of his wife are satisfied.
  9. Intellectual needs. He will engage in conversation with her and provide opportunities for her to develop her intellectual abilities.
  10. Spiritual needs. As a joint heir of grace of life (1 Pet. 3:7) – nothing better complements the effort of a wife trying to serve the Lord than a faithful husband doing the same.
  11. THE CHRISTIAN MAN IS TO PLAY THE ROLE OF A FATHER IN THE HOME: A man who is a father is to provide for love, teach and chasten his children.
  12. To provide (1 Tim. 5: 8).
  13. To teach and admonish (Lk. 2: 5, Eph. 6:4, Prov. 22:6).
  14. To Chasten (Heb. 12:5‐11, Prov. 13:24, Prov. 23:13, Prov. 19: 18) – So that his Children will have a solid foundation on which to build their foundation. Properly chastised, molded and preserved from destruction.


The Christian man who adequately provides for his home, tries as much as possible to Build and sustain a healthy home. His plans are made elaborately as a serious minded and matured Christian to build his home that stands the test of time spiritually and physically.

It takes a lifetime to provide adequately for any home as it is a continuous process.

Remember that the Lord Himself is the designer of a Christian home if allowed to exist for those who desires it. The Christian man who provides for his home displays a lot of good qualities with serious commitment and fear of God. When achieved, siblings are happy to acknowledge such as a blessing and are always proud of their parents. As Christians, we need to be guided by the spirit of God to do all the needful in our homes in the name of the Lord (Col. 3:17).

Disciplined children cherish good legacies displayed by fathers and strife to replicate those qualities in their life time (Heb. 11: 4).

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