TEXT: EPH. 6:1-4.

Delivered by: Bro. Atigbi, W. E. (Elder Grey Congregation, Warri).

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INTRODUCTION:

It is easy to see that many young people are confused and are without a dependable standard on which to anchor their relationships and responsibility in life. Even those with parents who are exposed to God’s standard in the Church often fail to be impressed for one reason or the other. A child’s moral behavior or success in life is greatly influenced in early life by the good relationship maintained between the child and the parents. The mother and the father have their God given roles in this relationship in bringing up the child to face realities of life in all perspectives. (Col. 3 :20-21, Eph. 6:4)

CHILDREN FACE SEVERE CONSEQUENCES WHEN PARENTS FAIL IN THEIR ROLES OF AUTHORITY.

Newspaper headlines are full of crimes with sad and tragic consequences that can often be attributed to poor parent child relationship in introducing a child to the world in some family. God in His words made predictions that seem to go on and on as warning to parents on the necessity to have cordial relationship with our children that will influence their well-being to become responsible adults. Read the following scriptures and see how far reaching the influence of an irresponsible father can be;

“The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself bringeth his mother shame” (Prov. 29:15), “A foolish son is a calamity to his father” (Prov. 19:13, Prov. 28:7, Rom. 1:26-30, 2Tim. 3:2).  Although the Bible teaches that the son does not bear the sin of the father (Ezek. 18:18-20), the neglecting father can influence the child’s enrollment so as to cause sins, shortcoming and emotional scars to go on and on to other generations. Many parents who experience sorrows in the consequences of their failures with their children wish that they never had children.

SURE GODLY WAYS TO IMPROVE PARENTS CHILD RELATIONSHIP

Not all teachings and examples in the Bible show results in failure and tragedy. What a joy it is to be assured from God’s word that parenthood can be very rewarding. (Psalm 127:3-5). “Lo, children are heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is His reward, as arrows are in the hand of the mighty man; so are children of thy youth. Happy is the man that hath his hands or emotion full of them;

they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with enemies at the gate. How refreshing this is. What are some of the factors that make the difference between success and failure in parents and child relationship? One can never go wrong if we go the Bible and search for the answer. Here are some expectations and roles God has for parents:

PROVIDING FOR THE CHILDREN:

“But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his house hold, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel” (1Tim. 5:8). Parents are interested on the needs of their children. (Matt. 7:9-10).  Children needs can be broad, and parents should be interested in providing them directly or indirectly. Such as accommodation, clothing, skill development, academic pursuit, moral upbringing, their religious life etc.

THE PARENT PRIMARILY RESPONSIBLE FOR DISCIPLINE. (Eph. 6:1- 4)

The man as the head of the family has been given the responsibility to lead in the discipline of the children. This does not mean that the mother must not be involved. In short, mothers have a bigger role to play as they spend more time at home with the children than the father who must go out and provide for the family.

Fathers should be fully involved in effecting discipline on their children in the home. (Prov. 1:8, Heb. 12: 7-8, Prov. 23:13). Train-up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Prov. 22:6). A child without proper training could bring curse to themselves and devastation to their parents (2kings 2:23-24).

RELATIONSHIP TO SHOW GOOD EXAMPLE AS CHRISTIAN PARENT.

Children are in need of models to imitate. Their first models should not be from outsiders, TV stars and irresponsible jokers on the screen but from their parents in the home. This can be motivation to improve in life; spiritually and physically. Parents are required to relate with their children to fear God and have forgiving spirit. As we know all children have different character and should be treated differently.

A good example of forgiveness is the father of the prodigal son. Parents need good example of love to their children to resist the temptation of receiving it from outsiders. While children can relate with others to have that love shown them through what they are made of, they must honor their parents (Eph. 6:2, Lev. 19:3). By being a good example, otherwise it can be very difficult in their life progress chart.

PARENT AND CHILD RELATIONSHIP SHOULD AVOID DISCREMINATING LOVE

Discriminating relationship to a particular child in any family leads to severe sibling rivalry in the home and has a very devastating effect that could tear the family apart for a long time. (Gen.25: 22-34). Esau and Jacob were torn apart as a result of discriminating relationship that was shown by the parents. The issue of Joseph and his brothers is another glaring example of discriminating love that should be avoided by parents. (Gen.37: 1-36). A good relationship requires that:

• Sibling be handled with caution to avoid unholy or unhealthy rivalry to promote the good name of the family.
• Sibling should be put on the same boat without segregation between male and female.
• Sibling be allowed to settle their differences without parent taking side with any one. In any intervention, parents should be fair to all without partiality.
• Teach children how to resolve conflicts without arming themselves.
• Parents should use active listening to hear from all parties without hasty conclusion.

CONCLUSION

Parent should know that children do not ask to be brought into this world. Fathers and the mothers who are parents are responsible for their appearance in the world. Hence the need for parents to take it as a challenge to relate well with their children. This is to fulfill that expected role God has put in our hands to avoid unpleasant consequences we may experience with misplaced priorities.

Sometimes, the drive for riches by parents without having time to relate well with our children expose them to negative influences that could not be detected early to effect correction.  Parent child relationship is imperative because an adage says a stitch in time saves nine.  (Prov.19:13, 11: 14). A cordial relationship with our children is necessary from the youthful age to establish closeness with parents who need to be cared for in our old age and to avoid neglect.

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