By: Bro. Joel Uto
There exists relationships with persons or people in different ways and this is consequent upon being or coming together. Relationship right from the family unit to the church and to the society at large is always there. Relationship exists in formal and informal. In all relationships, it got to be better (deepen), blossoming and worthwhile all the time.
- The way in which two or more people, groups, countries e.t.c. talk to behave toward and deal with each other is a relationship.
- Another relationship is the romantic or sexual friendship between two people. This type is in the marriage institution.
- The way in which two or more people or things are connected. Christians in the true church of Christ are spiritually connected and bodily connected.
A writer once said that “A great relationship is about two things: first – appreciating the similarities and second – respecting the differences.”
Yet another writer says You don’t need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely.
Relationship of all kinds should make you feel good about yourself and happy that you know the other person(s). There should be appreciation, acceptance, completeness and respect for one another. The church is a spiritual relationship in God and with God first and with one another. Therefore we ought to do things unto edification (building ourselves stronger). Romans 14:19 19 Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another. Romans 15:2 2 Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading to edification. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 11 Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.
There should be no aloofness in relationships – seek for what build it in the obedience to God – James 1:19-22 19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; 20 for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 21 Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. 22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.
Words of appreciation and gratitude should always come from our lips here in the church, in times of asking questions, contributing to teaching and of course, in responses. The use of thank you, please…, sorry are very needful in the home, workplace and where any form of relationship exists.
How do you care for the words which come from you in hours of joy and anger? How do you beautify your relationship with your tongue? James 3:2 2 For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.
Good attitudes deepen and sweeten relationships. May we all just look forward to attain a blissful relationship! A lot of conditions or things are needful in order to produce a healthy relationship. In marriage, so much positive attitudes are importantly expected to be held onto, to make it blissful. Relationships particularly marriage like a garden of scentful flowers, needs to be deepened daily by removing weeds. Healthy relationships require some of the following but not limited to these:
- Self love: Love holds people together more than material or artificial things whether in marriage or groups. The core of life is love – Matthew 22:37-39 37 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ Ephesians 5:25 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. Romans 12:9-10 9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. 10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor, giving preference to one another.
When we develop the qualities of love relationships are made better, stronger and joyful. 1 Corinthians 13:3-7 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. 4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
The phases of love (storge, philo, eros, agape) have their place in the relationships we keep.
- Trust: Trust is another requirement that would deepen or strengthen our relationships. Where there is lack of trust, suspicion often comes to the fore. Trust will make the wife or husband to say my spouse can’t do what you said. In relationships, parties should live in trust of each other or one another. We owe it a duty that the relationship is sustained on mutual trust. Trust should encompass all facets of the relationship. Can I be trusted? Can I trust? 1 Corinthians 4:1-2 1Let a man so consider us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. 2 Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful.
- Honesty: Close to trust is honesty in relationships. Do you keep to your words of vows and promises? What is your integrity? What are the good principles of moral uprightness you stick to and impact in the relationship? Relationships are made stronger, happier by our conducts that positively affect each other or one another. Principle of moral goodness in line with the word of God is very necessary in all relationships – Matthew 5:16 16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. How do we reflect as reflectors in the church of God, in the home, in the society and in the workplace?
- Communication: Communication builds all relationships. It speaks out than assume a matter or avoid I think…in any situation as long as the relationship exists, seek to know from yourselves what the matter is. Never allow communication breakdown for any reason at all! Communicate appropriately; when and timely; courtesy costs nothing.
- Connection: There should be connecting or connection in relationship. This means being in the same of team of understanding in each other that inexplicable warm happy feeling of being together. Endeavour to connect yourselves. Have you ever feel the absence of each other or one another in the home, in the church worship or in the workplace? If this is missing in your relationship, then you are in danger – why? In the church, it bridles lack of visit to one another but promotes selfishness. In the home, lack of connect drifts the boat of the marriage or other relationship to the rocks for summersault.
Beyond the few requirements are many others varying from one relationship to another. For instance, sexual connection in marriage should not be overlooked. It is not for procreation alone but to keep us fit spiritually – 1 Corinthians 7:1-4 1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
May God help us to build the true relationship in His fear always.