Text: Ephesians 4:31
By: Itseghosimhe, Charles
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Before Saul was appointed the first king of Israel, he was described as a mighty man of power and a handsome man (1 Samuel 9:2,17).
The first years of Saul’s reign were marked by power, courage and victory. During his reign as king of Israel, David, a shepherd boy, a youth, a member of Saul’s army, was empowered by God to slew the Philistine giant, Goliath. Then, the women of Israel sang as they danced, and said: “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” Saul was very angry, and the saying displeased him; and he said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed only thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?” So Saul eyed David from that day forward (1 Samuel 18:7-9).
From the day David severed the head of Goliath – Saul lived for one reason and one alone – the destruction of David. He dwelt on it by day and dreamed of it by night. Saul could not be pleased, placated, pacified, or turned back from his cruel vengeance.
David was willing to wait for his opportunity and did not seek the downfall of Saul. In fact, he spared his life on more than one occasion. There was, however, no place in Saul’s heart for David because his heart has been filled with bitterness.
Saul and his three sons were killed by the Philistines. His head was cut off by the Philistines. Their bodies were nailed to the wall of Dagon’s Temple in the ancient village of Bethshan. David learned of it and exclaimed, “How the mighty have fallen, and the weapons of war perished!” (2 Samuel 1:27).
Saul died as a victim of bitterness.
MAN’S CLASSIFICATION OF BITTERNESS
Often, we tend to classify sin in ways God doesn’t. The “big” sins are adultery, murder, blasphemy, etc. “Little” sins are the ones we believe they do not matter that much. We think they are insignificant, hence, bitterness is one of those little sins prevalent in the church and in families.
Bitterness seem like a little thing but it destroys our relationships with God and man. It will lead to our ruin if it is not repented of.
Bitterness is among the sins which grieve the Holy Spirit. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice (Ephesians 4:30-31).
WHAT IS BITTERNESS?
Bitterness is long-standing resentment that is nursed, wounds and injuries that are remembered in vivid detail, sometimes maximized and publicized or kept private.
In bitterness, we find people who spent great time and use so much energy to think deeply and analyse past offenses, rehearse insults received, and strongly secure a grudge in their heart. They can do this by day and dreamed of it by night.
Nothing the so-called offender does to them that will ever please them, appease them, or turn them back from their bitterness and or vengeance.
THE WAY OUT OF BITTERNESS
As brethren we sometimes disagree, even though we love each other. That is the way human relationships are. Someone has said, “If two people always agree, there is no need for one of them.”
Even Paul and Barnabas, as close as they were, once had “a sharp disagreement” – and the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus (Acts 15:39).
In the midst of disagreements, bitterness, offenses, wounds, pains and hurts could manifest. How we handle our differences, our offenses, our wounds, our pains and our hurts goes a long way to determine if there is bitterness in our lives and if we are willing to do all we can to get along well with others. Let’s consider two ways we can overcome our bitterness.
- There is no issue which can arise, no disagreement which can surface; no slight which can be inflicted that is remotely sufficient to make one bitter.
At the peak and pinnacle of his career, Saul eyed David.
- Is there someone whom you are eyeing at work, community, family or even in the church? Is there someone at your place of work or circle of business whom you consider as a threat thus you are willing to do anything to bring that person down or eliminate such person?
- Is there someone whose presence brings a cloud across your face? Maybe because of that person, you want to stop worshipping in a congregation; you want to isolate from the women fellowship, men fellowship, youth ministry, Bible class, etc.?
- In quiet moments, do you brood over a real or imagined injustice?
Then beware of bitterness. Pray about it. Search the Scriptures. Find a reconciliation angle. Develop self-control. Pray more for God to take away the burden of bitterness from you. Stop playing the issue in your head. Stop taking ownership of finding a perfect “self-made” resolution of the issue.
Remember that the struggles and slights of this life belong to time and will be seen in eternity as useless and insignificant.
Paul was forsaken by Demas. At his first defense no one stood with him, but all forsook him. Alexander the coppersmith did Paul much harm. Brethren accused Paul of being weak and ineffective. Yet Paul showed no hint of bitterness or malice. He prayed that it may not be charged against them (2 Timothy 4:16). He added beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head” (Romans 12:19, 20).
- Cut down the tree of bitterness and clean your heart
After the American Civil War, General Robert E. Lee visited a Virginia plantation. In the front yard was a large tree, scarred, bare, and burned. The woman he was visiting said, “I lost my husband and my son in the war. That tree is the symbol of my bitterness and anger.” Lee looked at her and said, “Cut it down.”
Some of us have bitterness trees that ought to be chopped down.
Ephesians 4:31-32 is a summary of all that we must put away if we are to get along with others and bitterness must be the first among all because it is mother to the others.
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
When the disagreement is over, we have to develop compassion toward each other. If we understand what God has done for us, that in His mercies, HE forgave us; therefore, we should be willing to forgive others. In forgiveness, we are cutting the tree of bitterness down and cleaning our hearts.
Forgiveness here includes no more nursing of the disagreement, hurt or offense, no more remembering in vivid detail of the issue so as to maximize it or allow it impact negatively on our spiritual decisions.
Holding grudges can be fatal to a relationship. Heal old wounds, and then do not tear them open again.
When the average person has been mistreated, he thinks in terms of “making it come out even” —but the last recipient of mistreatment never thinks that the scales of justice have been balanced; he thinks that he must inflict one more injury.
If the animosity in your relationship has accelerated like this, someone has to stop the madness. Let it be you. Clean it up. Forgive, and then get on with more important concerns.
If we don’t forgive then we have forfeited forgiveness. Forgive or forfeit forgiveness. The longest parable that Matthew recorded, that of “the unmerciful servant”, concludes with these words: “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses” (Matthew 18:35). Forgiveness for each other causes the Spirit to rejoice. Forgiveness is mandatory. We cannot please God without it. Beware of bitterness!
CONCLUSION
What are you doing about this sin which seem so little yet destructive?
How can we have the love for brethren we are supposed to have and bitterness be a part of our lives?
Beware of bitterness!
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